It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
