Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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