I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
