fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
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