I looked at my own cervix.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
