heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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