And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
