direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
