What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
