I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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