I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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