love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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