brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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