Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
