you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Randomize
