This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
