I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
