What a fucking waste of an outfit
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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