i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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