I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
