dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
