Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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