awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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