We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
