Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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