I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
