He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
