my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
