he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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