Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
