hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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