I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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