All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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