oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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