Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
