i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
