Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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