It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You need a sexual gate keeper
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
