Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
