we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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