Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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