This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
