Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
