I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize