Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
That's intense
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
