I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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