I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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