His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I want to fling myself into the sun
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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