I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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