Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
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