My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize