Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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