you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize