That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
