You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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