Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Randomize
