I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
