saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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