he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
