God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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