We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
