HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
