after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
