Do you still have your period?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
