i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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