With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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